How can an elder one be persuaded that his parents did not stop loving him when the younger one arrived? Perhaps, this is the greatest terrible thing for a childto lose his parents' like The essence of her claims is crystal clear: I used to be the one, everything was for me, everyone loved me, I used to be the center regarding the world. And now By the way, it was not my decision to have this little strange someone. It is not likely to disappear within the nearest future. Howcome have you done it to me? Have you betrayed me? What about ME now? Like a result, we look annoyance, anxiety, being sorry for oneself, sometimes feeling of global injustice. What is the elder one thinking? You promised I should hold little brother to play with as an alternative: a pretty little sister with wonderful plaits.
And who was brought? He shall learn to sprint in 10 years! I am not allowed to shout and jump, or I shall wake him up, I should not play loudly He is constantly crying, nobody ever can sleep any more. And everybody is interested in him exclusively!! I am for grandmas and babysitters now Where is the promised fun? Parents, have you deceived me?. Dear mothers, you carried your babies for 9 months. You have knowledge of prepared morally and financially for its arrival, chosen the name, bought clothesall done with like But we as parents should get ready not only for the arrival regarding the 2nd baby, but for the fact that now our BOTH children shall coexist anddesirablypeacefully. And your parental attitude plays the first component in their relations.
It shall be you who shall teach children to understand themselves, their feelings, realize and express them. It does not occur to adults that little children sometimes do not understand that they can be angry, scared of worried. Their feelings should be uncontrollable for them, nameless, unclear and chaotic. Observe your kids, name and articulate their emotions and their expression. Your child was not born with realizing her emotions.
Teaching is compulsory in realm of feelings, too. Have you been preparing your firstborn for the younger's arrival? What have you been telling her? Is it really indispensable?. I do hope you asked you about sibling jealousy BEFORE your 2nd baby was born due to the fact that then you possess the greatest valuable thing TIME. Time to explain as many times as compulsory to your elder one that she is your helper now, the teacher for the little one. It shall raise her self-esteem as now she has an unique reason to display her knowledge and accumulated experience.
We may ironically question wealth of this skills development but it is all she has for now and definitely it is very important for her to look that there is an application field for it. I should specify for some parentsyour firstborn shall be your helper, but not the one to be delegated baby-care and be created responsible for the infant. The fact that your elder is older is not the reason for depriving her of her childhood pleasures. It is not her baby, it is YOURS. Let her display as many attention and concern as she is willing to.
No running errands or imposed duties! The baby is YOURS. Everyone wants time to adapt, live though, get used to the thought and facts. Depict attractive time spending, observing your family traditions. It is very important! Certainly, your routine is bound to change but some things should be left unaltered and unshakable: it shall release a feeling of security. It shall figuratively say: In my world many things ARE stable since my mum does view fairy tales prior to my sleep or brings me to my sport classes or takes me home from the kindergarten or etc.
which means I AM SAFE. Avoid such phrases as: No, we cannot leave to the cinema to a soccer match with you due to the fact that regarding the little one, do not emphasize your inability to do something mostly of you used to be able to. It shall insure from accusations. Speak about advantages: I adore walking with my most children! You can be helping me so muchwithout you my preparation should have taken many longer! Thank you. Encourage the elder one, involve her within due limits: You can be playing so well with your brother! He laughs with you as with no one else due to the fact that you can entertain him and comfort him if he gets upset.
Your firstborn shall look that within the crib there lies not only her mother's son but HER brother. It is true as for entertainingwe cannot make faces so well, and we are not so happy to do this. By the way, children unlike most adults who are naturally good mimics can amuse and cheer up a baby greatest of all. An lone question is your baby's name. If it is possible, accept a proposal your elder has created as it shall positively influence their relations within the future.
Also we as parents should forget about comparisons if we have this habit. Very many of psychological articles and works are dedicated to the issue. Basically put, we should compare our child's achievements yesterday and today, in other words we should compare him this day and him yesterday not involving other people. Wow, you have knowledge of covered this distance even faster today! Phrases as Your elder brother was such an obedient child within the kindergarten. And you? You have knowledge of the similar to teacher and make us blush due to the fact that she remembers him so well should be out of use.
Comparing your children in many ways is likely to upset and hurt them, provoke jealousy, envy, rivalry and antagonism. One in haste can make a comparison not within the child's favour without any malicious intentand this shall well implant in her soul the seeds of doubt as for her physical attractiveness, mental capacity, people skills, authority and popularity between peers. Do not let complexes develop and complicate your kids' life, let alone trigger them. Ask your colleagues coming to your home or just meeting you to notice and mention some changes in BOTH children. You have knowledge of grown up! Youhavelearnedtodothis! Youhaveachievedthat! You succeeded! Genuine interest in your child can work wonders.
Let them talk to your firstborn: a couple of questions shall display their interest in her, she shall look she is important, her opinion is asked and taken into account. One shall not caress your firstborn pretty little foot it should be not so littleJ but such philosophic topics as people's relations, like at college or playground friendship should be discussed with her. I hope, dear parents, between other reasons for possessing the 2nd baby was the system that your firstborn is not alone any more, shall not ever be; the hope that when parents are gone she shall have help and back-up within the person regarding the lifelong friend, of blood sibling and congenial soul. The latter is completely your responsibility now as it is you who takes component in relations formation, mostly at first stage, thus you can need patience, thirst for knowledge, ability to observe, analyse, be wise Do not make your children doubt your like to them! Let you have knowledge of as many children as you can be ready to raise and educate and let all of them in their turn be happy and grateful for all the close people in their lives that were provided to them by YOU.
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